


"F*gs!"

by lourry5eva



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 16:02:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lourry5eva/pseuds/lourry5eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are called 'f*gs' by the paparazzi on the Red Carpet and Harry doesn't take to kindly to it, but he doesn't let it show. At least, that is, until he gets home. All hell breaks loose and Louis is the one that is left to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"F*gs!"

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing angst and some parts got to me a little but eh. Basically it was based off of the gif set (whether or not it's real) of Harry and Louis on the Red Carpet, when they're called fags by a member of the paparazzi.

Pulling his keys out of the door, Harry thrusts the door open with the palm of his hand, feeling it begin to tingle and then burn.  
“Fags! They called us fucking fags!” he yells, throwing his keys against the wall, leaving a little dent and scratches in the cream coloured paint.  
Louis’ heart drops into his stomach and lets his head fall forward. “I know,” he whispers. He looks up to see Harry just standing there, his forehead on his arm that rests on the wall. Louis walks over to him, putting his arm around the younger boy’s waist.  
“Don’t!” Harry yells, pulling away and stomping into the living room. “Wouldn’t want to be a fag now, would I? I mean, fuck! Can’t be a fag!” His voice breaks as he speaks the last words.  
Louis stands back, clenching his fist by his side, anger, sadness and disappoint rising in his body and he feels every bit of it. He wants to cry for Harry’s sake, but it’s for Harry’s sake that he doesn’t. He tries to stay calm.  
“Harry,” Louis says, slightly stepping closer to him, “it doesn’t matter what they think. I love you, the fans love you, the Larry shippers love us. It doesn’t fucking matter what some lowlife paparazzi says.” His voice gets softer as Harry begins to shake his head, his curls bouncing a little.  
“That’s the thing! It fucking does matter! That’s basically one of the reasons that we have to hide ourselves, pretend to be people we aren’t!” Harry states, his voice rising and then going soft as tears start to stream down his face.  
“Harry!” Louis says, raising his voice, “we’re constantly in the spotlight and you know there’s been ‘speculation’ about us being gay! You fucking know that! You had to be expecting this eventually!”  
Harry turns his attention from the floor to Louis’ face in disbelief. “Are you fucking serious right now?! You’re taking their side? You’re calling me a fag?” Tears start to fall onto his pink cheeks, his eyes red and tired, the green shade drained from them.  
“W-what?!” Louis stammers in absolute disbelief. “What the fuck are you talking about, Harry? Why the fuck would I ever do that? I’m you’re god damn boyfriend!”  
Harry scoffs and shakes his head and leaves the living room, slamming the side of his fist into the wall next to him before walking up the hall and to the bedroom.  
Louis watches the younger boy as he walks up the hall. He’s never seen Harry this angry before and it honestly scares him, he wants to be there for him and apparently all he does is say the wrong things which get interpreted in the worst possible ways. He leans against the arm of the lounge and lets his bum slip over the edge of it, his shirt rolling up on itself as he slides down to sit with his back against the lounge and his chin on his knees, arms wrapped around his legs. He begins to cry and sob into his knees.  
Louis lifts his head up and stops sobbing for a minute, sniffling every now and then. ‘What the fuck was that?’ he thinks to himself as he puts one hand on the ground to help steady himself as he tries to get up. He walks up the hall way and knocks on the bedroom door and shakily turns the knob. “Harry?”  
Harry is curled into a ball, that looks impossible for a boy of his size, against the bed. His face is red and wet with tears, his eyes not even opening when he hears Louis’ voice.  
Louis repeats himself, “Harry? What was that noise?” He asks, but he stops when he realises that a photo album they’d started collecting about a year ago, is on the ground, open and photos lying around it as they’ve fallen out. Louis can’t help himself, he starts to cry again and doesn’t care.  
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t to be with me anymore?” Louis asks softly, not being able to bear looking at Harry, his eyes still fixed on the discarded photo album.  
No answer comes from Harry, he remains in the ball but his sobs just get louder and he pulls his head closer to his knees and wraps his arms over the back of his head.  
“Okay,” is all Louis can manage, tears still dripping down his face. He goes over to the built in wardrobe and slides open the door and reaches for an overnight bag. He wanders around the room silently, only noises of sniffling, sobbing and Louis’ feet on the brown carpet fill the room. He grabs a pair or two of clothes and wanders to the en-suite bathroom to grab his toothbrush and anything else he may need.  
“Harry,” Louis says even quieter than before, “I’m going to let you clear your head tonight, since this is your place, I’ll leave. I’ll go and stay with Eleanor for the night.”  
“You’re not serious, are you? You’re going to stay with her?!” Harry finally says, lifting his head. “You know how I feel about her!”  
“You need to have breathing space Harry, and I don’t want to burden the other boys or make them worry about us, it’s the last thing they need. I’ll come back when- if,” Louis quickly corrects himself, “you want me to. Just promise you’ll clear your head.” He turns to walk out of the bedroom door, the overnight bag slung over his shoulder, and stops with his hand on the door frame. “I love you, Harry,” he says as he turns away from Harry one last time before walking down the hall to grab his keys. He breathes in before shutting the door behind him and hurries down the stairs and out to his car.  
“This is really happening,” he says to himself as he sits in the driver’s seat, hands gripped on the steering wheel. “This is really happening.” He says again, this time crying and hitting his hands on the steering wheel.

***

“El?” Louis says over the intercom. He pulls out his phone to check the time. 1:44am, great.  
“Louis?” A voice speaks, sleepy and slow. “What’s going on?”  
“I was wondering if I could stay here tonight...” Louis asks, his voice trailing off before he starts crying again.  
Eleanor buzzes him in and he makes his way up the stairs and knocks on the door to her apartment. She answers, wearing a fluffy pink dressing gown.  
Louis looks up from his feet to her face, his eyes and cheeks still puffy and red from crying. “Hey,” he says, attempting a half smile with a shrug of his shoulders, before his face falls back to what seems a permanent position of pain and emptiness.  
Eleanor reaches out for him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing a friendly kiss to his cheek. “What happened, love?” She asks, taking his bag from him and placing it on the lounge.  
“Can we talk over a cup of tea?” Louis asks shyly. As much as he was friends with Eleanor, he was still a bit weird around her. I suppose that’s what happens when she’s the one everyone thinks you’re dating when you’re really not.  
“Sure,” she smiles at him, rubbing at the inner corners of her eyes with her index fingers.  
They sit down next to each other on the lounge as Louis spills what happened.

***

Harry lifts his head from his knees. “Louis?” He looks around the room before moving but realises he can’t get up as his knees seem to be locked in place. He wonders how long he’s been sitting there and he looks in the mirror doors of the wardrobe when he realises that he’s still, somehow, crying. He manages to pick himself up to make his way to the shower and just lets the warm water wash everything away, or so he wishes.  
He steps out of the shower, turning off the water and doesn’t bother to dry himself. His feet squelch along the tiled ground as he walks over to the mirror, rubbing away the steam that has collected there, and stares at himself. He feels numb. Empty even. He legitimately feels like he’s lost part of himself. He breathes in as he turns away from the mirror, grabs a towel and walks out of the bathroom and bedroom and into the kitchen.  
Harry goes to the cupboard above the fridge and pulls out a bottle of Vodka, nothing else, just Vodka and sets himself down at the kitchen table with his phone next to him.  
He picks up his phone and unlocks it, seeing his background which is a picture of Louis and sets it back on the table unlocked, as he lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a swig of the drink, feeling it burn his throat as it slides down.

***

“I’m sorry for bothering you, El. I know it’s late but I didn’t know where else to go and I wasn’t sure what to do.” Louis says, spreading out a blanket onto the lounge.  
“It’s fine, Louis. I just hope you guys get things sorted out, yeah?”  
“Yeah, same here. Night.”  
Just as Louis starts to fall asleep, he hears his phone vibrate against the glass coffee table. He blinks open his eyes and reaches for the phone to see Harry’s caller ID staring him in the face, all happy and adorable. His heart feels as though it’s wrenched from his chest as he presses the ‘Answer’ button.  
“Hello?” Louis says softly over his end.  
“You know...” Harry starts slowly, a little more slow than usual. “I feel empty. I feel as though half of me has been ripped away and I can’t get it back. Do you know what that feels like, Louis?” He says, his words slurring together.  
“Harry,” Louis says, sitting up. “Have you been drinking?”  
“What does it matter to you?!” Harry spits into the phone, hitting his hand against the table. “I loved you, Louis! I love you,” and just like that, he starts crying again.  
“Harry, I-“  
“I don’t wannuh hear it, Louis! After tonight, I don’t know what’s happened, yeah? I don’t know whether you still love me or not!”  
“Harry!” Louis yells, before remembering that Eleanor is probably asleep, but then he sees her standing in the hall with a worried look plastered on her face. “Of course I fucking love you! We’ve gone through so much shit together, so much!”  
“I love you, Louis,” those being his last words, he hangs up and the line goes dead.  
“Sorry, El.” Louis says wiping away the beginning of tears from his eyes and pulling the blanket back over him and rolling over.

***

“Mooooornin’!” Eleanor shouts from the kitchen when she sees Louis open his eyes and ruffle his hair.  
“Mornin’,” he tosses back sleepily. He reaches for his phone and presses the home button and sees that he has a new message. “Goodbye, Louis.”  
“El, I’ve gotta go. I’m really sorry about last night and thank you for letting me stay here but I have to go.” Louis picks up the stuff he’d brought with him, shoving stuff in his bag and sits the strap on his shoulder, tears starting to form in his eyes.  
“Cya,” she replies, watching him walk out of the door.  
Louis pulls the keys to his car from his pocket, his fingers scrambling through the mess of metal and pushes the key into the door, unlocking it and shoving his bag onto the back seat. He can’t let this happen, he doesn’t care what it takes but he’s not going to let it happen. He loves Harry too much to let him go, especially like this. He speeds his way home, or what would be his home if Harry let him and jumps out of the car not bothering to lock it or anything and runs up the stairs. He knocks on the front door to Harry’s flat and there’s no answer. He once again scrambles through his keys and slides the thin metal into the slot, twisting it. Thank god Harry never had the bolt lock done up.  
He walks through the silent flat, waiting for any sign of Harry. When he doesn’t get one, he wanders up the hall to the bedroom. It’s exactly the same as the night before, photo album still discarded on the floor, clothes thrown around, sheets messy, but the only thing missing is Harry.  
He decides to check the other main areas of the house and his heart is beating a mile a minute. He steps through to the kitchen where he finds Harry, his head lying on the table, a spilt bottle of Vodka next to him and lying in a pool of his own vomit.  
Louis rushes over to Harry and gently pulls his head to the side, allowing him to breath, if he can. His hands are sweaty and shaky and his breathing is heavy. “Harry. Harry!” Louis whispers, his voice rising to a yell. “FUCK!” He pulls out his phone and dials 999.

***

Harry opens his eyes to a blinding white room, surrounded by curtains and beeps. He looks over to the corner of the room beside his bed and sees Louis sitting there, his head resting on his hand. “I’m in hospital?”  
Louis head shoots up, his eyes opening, tired and red. The last sight that Harry could remember seeing.  
“Uh, yeah,” Louis hesitates, his eyes becoming watery. He takes a moment to collect himself and fight off the tears. “You were, uh, admitted with alcoholic poisoning and overdose. I found you with an entire bottle of straight Vodka, Harry.” Louis says softly, reaching for the younger boy’s somewhat cold hand.  
Harry pulls his hand away, clenching it in a fist on his chest. “You should’ve just left me there,” he says, turning his head away and closing his eyes.  
“Hey! Haz!” Niall says, Liam and Zayn following him in the door. Harry looks back up at the other boys, smiling a little. Louis gets up from his chair, tears streaming down his face and walks out and into the waiting room.  
“Louis?” A voice asks from the door of the waiting room. Liam sits down next to Louis, not saying anything but just places a hand on his back.  
“He said that I should’ve left him there. He didn’t want to be saved. He wouldn’t let me hold his hand. What did I do Li?” Louis asks, finally looking up to the seemingly awake boy, tears collecting at the bottom of his chin.  
Liam puts his arms around Louis and just holds him. “I’m sorry, Louis.”

***  
Louis knocks on the door to Harry’s hospital room, “I’m going to go and pack my things from your place. I should be gone by the time you get released. Good bye, Harry. I love you.”  
Harry watches Louis as he bows his head and swivels on his heel, letting his hand fall from the door frame.  
***

“Louis?!” Harry bursts through the door to his flat, hoping to still find Louis there, but to no avail. “Wait!” He shouts, turning to face Liam, Zayn and Niall who’d followed him. “I think I know where he’ll be. Who’s driving?” The other three boys turn to face each other and decide on Niall.  
Harry gives Niall the address and Liam help direct him there. When they arrive at the address, Harry practically leaps out of the car, completely disregarding the fact that the doctors had told him to take it easy, and buzzes the intercom.  
“Eleanor?” Harry asks impatiently.  
“Harry?” A soft voice comes from Harry’s end of the intercom.  
“Can you please let me in? He’s there, isn’t he?”  
There’s no more talk, just the sound of a buzz and the door clicks open. Harry runs up the stairs, reaching her door and knocks loudly, his whole body shaking.  
Eleanor opens the door with a slight judgemental look on her face but lets him pass. “He’s in the shower but you’re welcome to sit until he’s out,” she says, gesturing to the lounge.  
“Thank you.”  
After about 10 minutes of impatiently sitting, Harry hears a door click and sees Louis, walking towards the living area and ruffling his hair with a light blue towel. “Hey El,” Louis says, still ruffling his hair with the towel. “Where do you want me to put the towel- Harry?”  
Louis stops dead in his tracks, letting the towel fall from his head into his hand. “What are you doing here? I suppose you’ve come to ask for the key back? I forgot to leave it,” he says as he walks over to the coffee table where his keys are.  
Harry places his hand on top of Louis’, intertwining his fingers with the older boy’s. “I’m sorry, Louis. I’m so fucking sorry for everything. Especially for this afternoon when I told,” Harry’s throat starts to close up and he closes his eyes, forcing the tears away, “when I told you that you should’ve left me.”  
Louis takes his hand away from the keys and stands in front of Harry, slightly having to look up at him. His eyes look a little less tired and the green is starting to make its way back.  
“I’m glad you found me and I was glad to have you as a part of my life, and it would be great if you’d still be a part of my life. I love you so much and I feel so empty without you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Harry stares into Louis’ eyes for a while, hoping he’ll say something soon to make the anticipation of the answer stop.  
Louis looks up to Harry, grabbing his forearms and pulling himself up to his height. He leans in and leans his forehead against Harry’s, Harry bending down so Louis doesn’t have to stand on his tiptoes. “I love you, Harry. Of course I still want you to be a part of my life.” Louis replies, breaking the silence.  
Harry doesn’t smile. Instead, he leans down, cupping Louis’ face with his large hand and avidly pressing their lips together. They’re both crying, but for the first time in what feels life for ages, they’re tears of joy and happiness. They both pull back and lean their foreheads together again, smiling and pecking at each other’s lips.  
“Right, well we better get going. They boys are still waiting.” Harry says, still holding onto Louis’ hands.  
“You brought the boys?” Louis asks.  
“Yeah, they drove me here. The doctors wouldn’t let me drive.” Harry says sheepishly.  
“Okay, well let me just go say goodbye to Eleanor.” Louis says, pecking Harry on the lips one more time before letting go of his hands and walking up the hall.  
“It’s all sorted, El. Thank you so much for letting me come and go, I’m sorry, but thank you.” Louis hugs her and walks back out into the living room, collects his stuff and heads out the door, still hand in hand with Harry.  
When the two boys arrive out of the apartment complex, Niall, Liam and Zayn stupidly applaud the once more happy couple.  
The two still have fresh wounds from their fight that they’ll have to fix and they start with Louis moving back in. Making sure everything is in the right order and fixing up the photo album.  
The two boys feel slight less empty, just by being in each other’s company and that’s when they know that it’s never going to work, just one without the other.


End file.
